Hospice Chaplaincy Through The Eyes Of A Retired Hospice Chaplain

Written by, Dr. Danny V. Ray

Several years ago someone asked me, “Preacher what is a Hospice Chaplain?”

After having the opportunity to serve as a hospice chaplain for Hospice of Tift Area for seven years and Bethany Hospice for two years, I learned that hospice care is much more than treating pain, suffering, and symptoms. If I was looking for words to describe some of the things I learned there would be words like empathy which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. One of the most important things anyone can ever do for those who are terminally ill is to reach a place of understanding and caring. Another word is the word sympathy and one must be careful with this word. Those who are terminally ill wants you to understand but not to pity them. With that being said, the greatest gift I believe God has given to me is the spirit of compassion.

To be compassionate is to be so caring for the sufferings of others that you are willing to suffer with them. As I study the life of Christ I see Him as one who had this type of compassion. I believe that is why he had to go to the mountain places to get away to refuel and strengthen himself for service. I have called this refilling your bucket. I remember one time feeling so empty and weak that I went to my Director and told her that I needed a day to go and refill my bucket. Her reply to me was, “go you know what you need to do.” I believe one of the greatest illustrations of being compassionate is given in John’s Gospel chapter eleven verses thirty-two through thirty-five, where we read the story of Lazarus. (Then when Mary came where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying unto him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died. When Jesus, therefore, saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled, and said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him, Lord, come and see. Jesus wept.) Though He appeared to have arrived late He was there providing the ministry of presence (Being There). Notice what those who saw Him cry said, “Behold how he loved him!”

Now to answer the question, “What is A Hospice Chaplain?” A hospice chaplain is one who cares when no one else takes the time to care, to love those who everyone else has written off because of their lifestyle, to cry with those who are crying, to hurt with those who are hurting, to just be present with a listening ear maybe even not having to say one word, just being there to represent a spiritual presence. I have spent Christmas Eve with families who were hurting, sitting with them, as they say, goodbye to their loved ones. I watched as they cried and have cried with them. Being there not so much because it was my job to be there, but being there because I wanted to be there with a hurting family. I suppose Theodore Roosevelt said it best, “Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”

I have cared for so many in the nine years that I served as a hospice chaplain. Being there, representing God, and His spiritual presence too many who would have never had a relationship with Him if chaplaincy had not been provided. In the nine years that I served, I made many friends in our service area. I have stood by the bedside, and at the funeral home and helped with many funerals to these families. I would dare say I probably preached three hundred or more funerals for families who allowed me to walk through the deepest of all dark valleys with them.

I have been out of the full-time hospice chaplaincy for several years now. I use the term burnout as I felt I needed a break from seeing so much death and suffering. In the time that I have been away, I have used hospice services with my mother and have stood by the bedside of our church members and their families as loved ones died. We live in the land of the dying and the only hope we have to offer is the hope of Christ. As a chaplain I never tried to teach people how to die, I always prayed to be able to teach them how to live. Jesus said in John’s gospel chapter eleven verse twenty-six, “whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?” I believe it.

I may one day soon if God opens the door walk back into hospice chaplaincy. While I have enjoyed being back in the church and the pulpit, I must share the truth there is nothing like taking the church into places it can’t go to represent God’s presence, I love the Hospice Chaplaincy Ministry as well as the opportunity to serve as a pastor.