No Excuses Sunday

A "NO EXCUSES" SUNDAY A certain church made the following announcement in their magazine: "To make it possible for everyone to attend worship next Sunday, we are having a special "No Excuses" Sunday: "Beds will be placed in the aisles for all those who say, "Sunday is the only day I'm able to sleep in late. " "Eye drops will be provided for all those who watch TV too late on Saturday night. "Steel helmets will be handed out to all those who say, "The roof will fall in if I ever come to church!" "Blankets will be provided for all those who say, "The church is too cold," and fans for those who say "It's too hot. " "We will have hearing aids for all those who say, "The minister speaks too softly," and earplugs for those who say, "The organist plays too loudly. " "Scorecards will be available for all those who wish to keep a record of the hypocrites present. "There will be TV dinners for all those who find it difficult to attend church and prepare the Sunday lunch at the same time. "One section of the church will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to see God in nature.” Finally, the church will be decorated with Christmas decorations and Easter flowers for those who have never seen the church without them!"